ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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