Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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