Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
