Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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