Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
