I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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