Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize