Michael Bay diarrhea
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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