last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
