i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
