we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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