we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
