you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
