i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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