I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
