I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
