Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
