did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
