I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
