Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
