i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
