He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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