If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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