wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Ketchup is God's man juice
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize