Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
