Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
