So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
