Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
third nipple confirmed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize