If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
