No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
