found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
