Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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