You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
