i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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