I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Congratulations! We have a period
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