We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize