I can text with my tongue
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
