Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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