We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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