just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
