bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The Olympian is in my bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize