batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
