i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
