Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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