420 ftw
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
