Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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