I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This is the high leading the old right now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
