okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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