apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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