I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
