Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
