Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize