There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
