I need help removing her.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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