wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
