just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Randomize
