dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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