tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
