No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
