Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
