i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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