I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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