and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
