And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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